Why you should never be "afraid" of your lawyer.....

I was recently thinking about a client who, when she initially retained us, told us that she was "afraid" of her previous lawyer.

I must admit I was very disturbed by what I heard. It bothered me for some time, on a number of levels - personal, professional, human....I tried to imagine what it would be like to go to someone for professional assistance and not feel comfortable asking them questions, requesting clarification of professional terms I was not grasping, and seeking reassurance on any points which bothered me. Being the extrovert I am, I have never experienced this type of relationship before but this client's experience gave me pause and it now prompts me to blog about it.

Here are points I would like you to consider:

1. We, lawyers (and many other professionals, in fact) speak a language which is very specific to what we do - it's the daily bread-and-butter of our professional life. These are terms which we use every day, many times a day, with other lawyers, with Judges, mediators, arbitrators. You are not a lawyer - you are not expected to know these terms in the first place - we are trained to understand them and use them - you are not.

2. It is your lawyer's job to familiarize you with the legal terms which are relevant to your case. You are not expected to grasp them immediately - some are quite complex. It is your lawyer's job to explain the legal terms in a way which you will understand, bearing in mind that you may be very stressed and upset by your separation and also taking into account that you may not want to hear "bad news", ie: that you may be hoping for an unlikely result.

3. If you hear a legal term or concept, it initially makes sense but then no longer does, you MUST ask your lawyer for a further explanation. You do not need to speak the legal jargon but it is vitally important that you understand the issues in your case, how your lawyer plans on addressing them and for what reason. If you do not understand the basic concepts, you cannot truly participate in your case and that is not in your best interests.

4. You should never be "afraid" of your lawyer. You should never feel your lawyer is too busy to talk to you or worry that things he or she might say will not be easy to understand. Again, it's your lawyer's job to ensure you understand what is at issue, in language which is not mysterious, complicated or fancy. You pay them for that service.

Remember that your relationship with your lawyer is one in which you hire a professional to provide you with a service but it's YOUR CASE. You need to be comfortable in that relationship. 

Five Tips for your First Meeting with a Lawyer

The idea of having to retain a family law lawyer can be quite overwhelming. Your even thinking about this issue means that you either have to initiate a dialogue involving lawyers and legal issues or that you have to respond to one.

The task can be particularly daunting if you have never been involved in legal proceedings before and/or if you do not know any lawyers. Where do you start, what do you say?

Here are some tips for your initial meeting with a lawyer (whom you may consider retaining to represent you):

1. Bring with you whatever paperwork you think may be relevant to the legal issues in which you are involved. If you are not sure whether a particular document is relevant, have it with you just in case - the lawyer can then ask for it if necessary. The documents you bring should include your last three income tax returns (complete with slips and attachments), as well as related Notices of Assessment and Re-Assessment;

2. Start by providing a general outline of your story and then give the lawyer an opportunity to ask you questions to flesh out or clarify the areas which need further discussion. Stick to the issues at hand - remember, you are potentially retaining this person to assist you with legal issues, not to be your counsellor. While it is important that your lawyer appreciate the emotional component of your case and what you are feeling, his or her job is not to provide you with psychological and emotional support - spend your money wisely...the more hand-holding you require, the more expensive the process will be. This is not meant to say that you are to be an unemotional blank slate at any of your meetings with your lawyer. This is often simply impossible as the issues are highly emotionally charged and you are in the middle of them. The point is to stick to what is relevant and to points with which the lawyer can help you, based on their actual expertise.

3. Be honest - the information which you provide to your lawyer should include "the good and the bad" - do not conceal the existence of unfavourable information/evidence  from your lawyer simply because you think this will help them do their job - this tactic can have very serious and damaging concequences to your case down the road.

4. Assess whether you and your lawyer will get along and whether the potential relationship will be "a fit" - this is an important point missed by many out there - a relationship between lawyer and client can be very intense and you have to be basically compatible, communicate in an effective way and simply "get along" to make your case move forward to a resolution.

5. Do not be afraid to ask questions - legal issues often are (through years of convention) but are not meant to be shrouded in a veil of mystery - the better you understand the issues in your case, the more useful assistance you will be able to provide to your lawyer - remember, they work for you and not give versa.

Good luck!

Image via Zamm(flickr)