Separation is often a very emotional journey - whether you are the one who triggered it or whether you are at the receiving end of the news, there are so many issues to consider, so many new concepts to understand (including in the area of family law) that the circumstances can quickly become overwhelming.
The answer to the question posted in the title of this post should really be considered in light of the opening paragraph. Ask yourself this:
1. are you emotionally strong enough to sit across from your spouse and negotiate the terms of your separation? Is your spouse emotionally strong enough so that any "deal" you strike would be viewed by an outsider as a fair one?
2. do you understand the law as it applies to your separation? If you think that to deal with property rights on separation, "we divide everything in half", then you do not understand this area of the law. Do you understand the difference between the law as it applies to married/separating spouses as opposed to common-law/separating spouses? For example, are you aware of the concept of "joint family enterprise"? Do you know what possessory rights are? Do you understand the concept of mobility? Does your spouse?
3. are you sure that "all the chips are on the table" for the purposes of your proposed negotiations, meaning, that you are truly aware of your spouse's earnings, assets and debts? Do you truly know what they "have"? Did you and your spouse exchange full disclosure?
THE POINT: there is nothing preventing you from negotiating directly with your spouse. Whether that is a good idea is another issue altogether and depends on the circumstances of your case. Likely not the clean, direct answer you were looking for but there it is - would you consider asking your friend to remove your appendix? Well, the answer depends on the circumstances. If they are a doctor, you might. If they are a retired doctor who last practiced 15 years ago, you might not. If they are a gardener, you might not. If you are exceedingly stressed, you might not be in any shape to make a reasoned decision about any alternative treatment for your acute appendix so an emergency doctor should be your medical provider of choice. I think you "get our point".
Seek legal advice about legal issues, at least by way of consultation. Do not bargain your legal rights and obligations until you know what they are. It is important to negotiate on a level playing field, making sure there is no imbalance of power in discussions of any settlement. A solid, fair and lasting deal depends on it.
The answer to the question posted in the title of this post should really be considered in light of the opening paragraph. Ask yourself this:
1. are you emotionally strong enough to sit across from your spouse and negotiate the terms of your separation? Is your spouse emotionally strong enough so that any "deal" you strike would be viewed by an outsider as a fair one?
2. do you understand the law as it applies to your separation? If you think that to deal with property rights on separation, "we divide everything in half", then you do not understand this area of the law. Do you understand the difference between the law as it applies to married/separating spouses as opposed to common-law/separating spouses? For example, are you aware of the concept of "joint family enterprise"? Do you know what possessory rights are? Do you understand the concept of mobility? Does your spouse?
3. are you sure that "all the chips are on the table" for the purposes of your proposed negotiations, meaning, that you are truly aware of your spouse's earnings, assets and debts? Do you truly know what they "have"? Did you and your spouse exchange full disclosure?
THE POINT: there is nothing preventing you from negotiating directly with your spouse. Whether that is a good idea is another issue altogether and depends on the circumstances of your case. Likely not the clean, direct answer you were looking for but there it is - would you consider asking your friend to remove your appendix? Well, the answer depends on the circumstances. If they are a doctor, you might. If they are a retired doctor who last practiced 15 years ago, you might not. If they are a gardener, you might not. If you are exceedingly stressed, you might not be in any shape to make a reasoned decision about any alternative treatment for your acute appendix so an emergency doctor should be your medical provider of choice. I think you "get our point".
Seek legal advice about legal issues, at least by way of consultation. Do not bargain your legal rights and obligations until you know what they are. It is important to negotiate on a level playing field, making sure there is no imbalance of power in discussions of any settlement. A solid, fair and lasting deal depends on it.
