Five Tips for your First Meeting with a Lawyer

The idea of having to retain a family law lawyer can be quite overwhelming. Your even thinking about this issue means that you either have to initiate a dialogue involving lawyers and legal issues or that you have to respond to one.

The task can be particularly daunting if you have never been involved in legal proceedings before and/or if you do not know any lawyers. Where do you start, what do you say?

Here are some tips for your initial meeting with a lawyer (whom you may consider retaining to represent you):

1. Bring with you whatever paperwork you think may be relevant to the legal issues in which you are involved. If you are not sure whether a particular document is relevant, have it with you just in case - the lawyer can then ask for it if necessary. The documents you bring should include your last three income tax returns (complete with slips and attachments), as well as related Notices of Assessment and Re-Assessment;

2. Start by providing a general outline of your story and then give the lawyer an opportunity to ask you questions to flesh out or clarify the areas which need further discussion. Stick to the issues at hand - remember, you are potentially retaining this person to assist you with legal issues, not to be your counsellor. While it is important that your lawyer appreciate the emotional component of your case and what you are feeling, his or her job is not to provide you with psychological and emotional support - spend your money wisely...the more hand-holding you require, the more expensive the process will be. This is not meant to say that you are to be an unemotional blank slate at any of your meetings with your lawyer. This is often simply impossible as the issues are highly emotionally charged and you are in the middle of them. The point is to stick to what is relevant and to points with which the lawyer can help you, based on their actual expertise.

3. Be honest - the information which you provide to your lawyer should include "the good and the bad" - do not conceal the existence of unfavourable information/evidence  from your lawyer simply because you think this will help them do their job - this tactic can have very serious and damaging concequences to your case down the road.

4. Assess whether you and your lawyer will get along and whether the potential relationship will be "a fit" - this is an important point missed by many out there - a relationship between lawyer and client can be very intense and you have to be basically compatible, communicate in an effective way and simply "get along" to make your case move forward to a resolution.

5. Do not be afraid to ask questions - legal issues often are (through years of convention) but are not meant to be shrouded in a veil of mystery - the better you understand the issues in your case, the more useful assistance you will be able to provide to your lawyer - remember, they work for you and not give versa.

Good luck!

Image via Zamm(flickr)

"Legal Separation"??

The term “legal separation” is often misused and frankly, misunderstood. I often have individuals calling me because, as they say, they want "a legal separation".....

Whether a couple is separated or not is a question of fact. It is sufficient for one party to give effect to a separation, by their actions. The other side does not have to be in agreement with the separation for it to occur.

Contrary to a prevailing notion, a separation of a couple does not have to be registered anywhere or legally confirmed in writing in order to take effect.

In Ontario, the date of separation is relevant to at least two issues, namely, the divorce and the equalization of net family property (property division).

For more information, I encourage you to seek legal advice from someone who routinely practices in this area of the law.

Work by Gerard Dubois

What is a "Separation Agreement"?

A Separation Agreement is a contract between separating spouses, whether married to each other or not. It is usually a document made up of many pages, signed by both parties, and generally speaking, Separation Agreements are meant to deal, on a final basis, with all issues arising out of a separation. Sometimes Separation Agreements become Court Orders and sometimes they do not. This depends on the legal context in which they are signed.

There are circumstances in which Interim (temporary) Separation Agreements are appropriate.

A Separation Agreement can be a complex document, depending on the circumstances of the parties and whether or not, for example, it deals with children's issues as well. In order to be properly binding and to have the desired consequences for the parties (a measure of finality, for example), the contract has to have some important attributes, including independent legal advice for each of the parties, as well as complete and frank financial disclosure.

"Home-cooked" Separation Agreements are always cheaper in the short-run but they can be very expensive in the long-run, especially when one of the parties discovers, at a later date, that the Agreement is either not enforceable or not giving them what they expected it would.

Spend your money wisely and with forethought.

One Spouse = One Lawyer

I am asked, from time to time, to meet (and give legal advice) to both spouses in a separation. In such situations, one spouse, by way of telephone call, tries to convince me that he or she are not fighting with the other, that they have agreed on everything and that they simply need one lawyer to "put it in writing" or "finish the paperwork". The primary motivation is such cases is cost.

While the fact that you and your spouse get along is a great thing, that cooperation does not alter the fact that your rights before the law may be adverse (different). For this reason (and several others), each of you needs a lawyer of your own. The fact that you are cooperating will simplify matters considerably and save costs as well, but one lawyer cannot act for you both.

It is possible for one lawyer to prepare a Separation Agreement, for example, on behalf of either the husband or the wife (his or her client). The other lawyer will then review the draft of the document and advise his or her client about it, independently and confidentially. In this scenario, one lawyer will represent one client (spouse) - at all times.