What is a "nesting arrangement"?

A nesting arrangement, also known as a "bird's nest arrangement" or "bird nesting arrangement" is one in which a child or children continue to live in the residence which was their home at the date of their parents' separation.  This, in and of itself, is not uncommon post-separation but here, the parents' time with the child/children is based on their moving in and out of the home for fixed periods of time. Just like birds taking turns to look after eggs or chicks in a nest, these parents return to the home based on a fixed schedule while the children continue to live in the home without interruption.

All residential arrangements for children have their unique pros and cons. Some argue that nesting arrangements are least disruptive to children's lives.  For example, they enable the child/children to continue to attend the same school and to maintain their peer relationships and activities. On the con side, the nesting arrangement means that the parents need to obtain their own accommodations for those periods of time when they are not residing in the home with the child/children. In other words, three separate residences are involved (one for the children and two for each of the parents). The reality is that a true nesting arrangement is possible only in cases where the parents' financial means permit it. It can be expensive.

Nesting arrangements can only work in situations in which the parents remain civil and cooperative with each other. There are many reasons for this.  By way of one example, if a nanny is involved, cooperating parents will continue to have the same nanny assist the children/parents when both parents are in the home. If parents are not cooperative with each other, one parent might, for example, insist on a care arrangement for the child/children which is different than what the other parent wants (e.g. not a nanny). This creates a logistically difficult situation, for all concerned including the nanny.

In our view, nesting arrangements are feasible only on a temporary basis. It is difficult to imagine two adults (the parents) continuing to reside in two residences on more than a temporary basis.

When it comes to children's residential arrangements, there is a number of reasonable alternatives which we discuss elsewhere in this blog. If you are interested in exploring these alternatives further, we suggest you speak to a lawyer who has experience in this area.

 Park of Schunbrunn ~ Gustav Klimt (1916)

"Can I move with my child?"

That question is very difficult, virtually impossible to answer, without knowing the specific facts in your case but the initial answers would be as follows:

1. if your child's/children's other parent agrees - yes
or
2. if the Court approves the move - yes

Even non-custodial parents have the right to object to a proposed move (or a move which has already taken place, in specific circumstances) if the potential change in the child's residence would affect their contact with their child/children and no reasonable arrangements can be made to address the change in their physical relationship.

This area of family law is commonly referred to as "mobility" law and it is customary to address it in Separation Agreements, so that the possibility of a move is addressed in advance, before it takes place, and the parties turn their minds to the mechanics of dealing with the move at the relevant time. Notice periods are common.

Without question, a move from Ontario to Australia will have far greater consequences for the parent staying behind than a move from Ontario to Oakville. That being said, in two specific cases, a court may approve a move to Australia but not a move to Oakville. That is one of the reasons I said at the beginning of this post that the specific facts of your case are very, very important and relevant.

Mobility is particularly relevant to shared-residence situations - where the child/children live with each parent for at least 40% of the time - in those situations, it is particularly important that the respective parents' residences be reasonably close to one another to allow the arrangement to work effectively.

Spring is almost here....open your mind to the possibility!

photo credit: alaf.co.uk

What is "custody"?

In Ontario family law, the word is generally used in reference to decision-making about a child or children.
In general terms, a parent who has sole custody of the child makes, on their own, all major decisions about that child’s health, welfare and education. Parents who are joint custodians make such decisions together. There is also the concept of "parallel parenting" which I will address in a future post.

Please note that a child’s custodial parent may be different from that child’s residential parent. “Residence” refers to where the child lives. For example, the parents of a child may be that child’s joint custodians but the child may live primarily with Dad.

The use of the phrase “shared custody” in the Child Support Guidelines (both federally and provincially) has caused some confusion. In the Guidelines, the term refers to a situation where the child essentially has two homes and spends some time with one parent and the rest of the time with the other. In this particular instance, the word “custody” is used to denote the child’s residential arrangements but this is an exception to the general rule outlined above with respect to the use of these phrases.